DANCE OF THE DEAD
2008
Written by Joe Ballarini
Directed by Gregg Bishop
The prom is right around the corner, so of course the school is thrown into a high-pitched melodramatic frenzy. Lindsey (Greyson Chadwick) dumps pizza boy Jimmy (Jared Kusnitz), tired of his immaturity and lack of ambition, and instead makes a date with pretty boy Jensen (Lucas Till). Cheerleader Gwen's (Carissa Capobianco) unseen boyfriend has eaten some bad spinach and can't go, so she tries to ask out rocker Nash Rambler (Blair Redford), but finds out that he's just a little too "Fuck you!" punk rock for her. This leaves her free for nerd Steven's (Chandler Darby) asking, but of course he's too nervous to approach her. Their senior year is coming to a close. Nothing is as they want it to be. Everybody's pissed off and confused. Oh, and then there's a zombie invasion.
This is a brilliant concept. It's kind of like Buffy the Vampire Slayer infused with Shaun of the Dead, the ideal result being Juno with zombies. Unfortunately, Dance of the Dead is anemic as a splatterfest, and is even less satisfying as a teen dramedy. It wouldn't seem like there would be much opportunity to fuck this idea up, but I guess this teaches us that there's a fine line between genius and inanity?
This is director Gregg Bishop's second feature, after something called The Other Side, which frankly sounds less than promising; and the first for screenwriter Joe Ballarini. They have a lot to learn. It's obvious that the movie was shot on a budget, but that's fine. George A. Romero on Night of the Living Dead and Sam Raimi on The Evil Dead both had very small wallets, but used clever editing and camerawork to achieve their seriously terrifying undead opuses. Bishop, on the other hand, often uses a sloppy handheld approach with annoying close-ups and lots of shaky shock cuts. Shot composition rarely seems to have crossed his mind, and lighting even less.
As for Ballarini's screenplay, it takes this beautiful gem of a plot and promptly takes it to the most predictable and tired conclusions. These kids spout a lot of supposedly funny dialogue, and though it's true to say that it sounds like something your average high schooler would write, that's not exactly a compliment. All of the characters go through their paces like the standard archetypes they are: Jimmy's gotta prove he's the hero so he'll get Lindsey back, and anyone who thinks that he won't either isn't very bright or has seriously overestimated the size of the filmmakers' balls. Redneck bully Kyle Grubbin (Justin Welborn) is a total asshole to everyone in the movie, so of course the zombie crisis will allow him to form a bond with the entire gang right before he nobly sacrifices himself. The geeky Steven will pine after the perky Gwen for the whole movie, finally ending up with her...though at least it's not in the way you'd expect, and I've got to give Ballarini credit for the very amusing/disturbing way this is done.
Because unfortunately, most of the crazy zombie antics don't offer much in the way of fun. There are zombies who jump from their coffins as if spring-loaded, but Bishop doesn't have enough money to make it work; likewise for an hilariously awful zombie frog that attacks the science teacher; and though it all tries for the maniacal tone of Peter Jackson's Dead Alive, it doesn't have even a glimmer of that gorehound classic's ingenuity or wit.
Perhaps what really damns the movie is that it exists in a climate where movies like Snakes on a Plane or Napoleon Dynamite are tailor-made to fit some sort of fashionable cult mode. Dance of the Dead knows all of the tricks and gross-outs that will appease the indiscriminating horror fan, so it doesn't have to try to elevate itself above the direct-to-video swill lining horror sections the world over. Shaun of the Dead, the movie that has the dubious honor of having brought the zombie genre back to the spotlight, worked because it took a tried-and-true formula and injected it with genuine humor, terror, and pathos. It had real characters giving realistic reactions to fantastical situations. Dance of the Dead's lamebrained misfits seem like stick figures in comparison.
- Arlo J. Wiley
October 20, 2008
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